This afternoon, I went to the Supreme Court to submit my mandatory requirements. It appeared like an ordinary task on paper, but somewhere between the court steps, the city streets, and the silence in my helmet, something inside me softened. And I realized it was one of the days, I wanted to hug my younger self.
Afterward, I wandered through the city. I visited three churches and three malls without any real plan. Deep in my reveries was I. Yes, I was not shopping. Neither was I sightseeing. I think I was searching for, if not connecting to the pieces of myself I either had forgotten or lost touch along the way.
As I walked, I remembered the younger version of me.
I remembered her dreams, her fears, and the quiet pressure she carried long before anyone noticed. I remembered how badly she wanted to become a lawyer someday. How she studied while anxious. How she kept moving even when she was tired, uncertain, or alone.
And suddenly, I wanted to hug her.
Not because she failed, but because she endured so much while trying to become someone. And this afternoon, while wandering through city, it is the day (among many) when I wanted to hug my younger self. There are wounds we only understand years later. There are younger versions of ourselves who deserved more reassurance, more patience, and more kindness than they received.
Today, I realized that I have spent so much time chasing the future that I rarely stop to thank the girl who survived the past.
The truth is, she never gave up on me.
Even on difficult days, she continued believing that one day our name would carry the title “Atty.” She carried that dream carefully through disappointments, exhaustion, and uncertainty. And now, standing somewhere between who I was and who I am becoming, I realize that the dream no longer feels impossible. It feels near enough to touch.
Tonight, my heart feels heavy, but grateful.
If I could speak to my younger self, I would tell her this: “You were never weak for feeling deeply. You were brave for continuing anyway.”
And someday, when I finally become a lawyer, I hope she knows that every step was for her too.